


Tuyo

by bigasscutie



Category: In the Company of Shadows - Sonny & Ais
Genre: LITERALLY, LMAO, M/M, anyway, but it's... slightly different than usual, enjoy, if you've read the books I have nothing else to add, it's about me making the love happen, it's them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:33:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8256092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigasscutie/pseuds/bigasscutie
Summary: “Just dancing, though.” Zach warned him, pointing an accusatory finger at his chest. “No weird touching. Or kissing. Or anything like that,” He hiccuped. “because I know you.” “Yeah, yeah, party killer. I just wanna dance.” False, but who cared?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, basically, this should take place during Fade BUT in the middle of it I noticed I fucked up and realized that Sin shouldn't have been there.... I didn't want to change it though so this fic takes place in whatever time and place you want to imagine, really. I just hope you all like it and, really, I just wanted Zach to stop being a major asshole to Emilio for once (kinda, I mean... he's probably a bit out of character here but I don't.... care.... I don't know, you're the ones who have to judge sigh and I love Zach but you probably know what I mean by the asshole thing ehhh) And by the way, Emilio is a big emotional baby don't hate on him I love him more than anything or anyone :')
> 
> p.s. sorry for any mistake! English is not my first language have pity on me ;-;

One night someone decided to throw a party at their house, a simple excuse to get together and forget all about the shit the Agency usually pulled on them, and what better time than a hot, sweaty, summer night to get drunk and wasted? Emilio, who didn’t even know the guy who had thrown the party, couldn’t resist when they invited him. He didn’t remember who did, definitely not Zach, but of course the other man was there too.

One more reason to drink and pretend to be very interested in the ladies hovering around his cute ass, when all he actually did was look at his former partner sideways with curious eyes. Even though it had been months now, he still wasn’t used to his presence. It was hard to stare at him and not think about all those years ago, especially about those times Zach completely refused to acknowledge, without feeling his heart clutch and his throat itch. Emilio was a pro at putting on a happy mask and pretending everything was just terrific, but some nights, dizzy nights like that, something in his mind and body would click and feelings he could never understand (or maybe didn’t feel like understanding) would drown him.

Memories would come back and suddenly he was young again, there were no wrinkles on his face, no sign of getting older at all. It was like he had never left, never went to Mexico and disappeared for twenty years... just him and Zach, boys that had grown up way too fast.  

The fact that Zach was talking to some blonde bitch who kept touching him everywhere and leaning too close didn’t help Emilio’s situation either. The general was smiling, sipping his transparent drink from time to time, while she talked about some probably dumb bullshit only Zach could find interesting. Or maybe not. Although he could fool everyone else, Emilio saw how his friend’s keen gaze was trying so hard not to look down at the woman’s tempting neckline. Well, she was basically rubbing her tits in his face anyway, it wasn’t fair. Zach must have felt so happy to be a straight proud man in that moment, tch.

Emilio scoffed and kept drinking his beer, feeling like the bottle of tequila was just too far (too close to Zach). He grinned at someone passing by, waving at him with slim inviting fingers, but his eyes went back to Zach right away, damn it. He knew it was serious when not even a fine looking lady could keep his mind off of it, but he didn’t want to cause a scene, not that night. He was tired and stressed and if Zach wanted to have some, that was fine by him. (Was it really?) At least he would have been less of a pain in the ass the next day at work.

Ah, Emilio chuckled at his own words because a pain in the ass was exactly what he would have liked to receive from the man, hilarious wasn’t it? He was on the verge of being drunk, forgive him.

At least the music was nice, some kind of latin-american remixed playlist, and he could always lose himself in the alcohol. He closed his tired eyes and listened to the chatting around him turning into a soothing murmur cradling his mind, he exhaled slowly and let the smell of frying food and sweat feel his lungs again. If he concentrated hard enough he could almost pretend to be back in Mexico, among his people, and not just pretentious assholes. He smiled as the day dream continued and as he wished he could be there. He didn’t have any regrets, he didn’t miss it that much, but it would have been nice. All the opposite from what he had there at the agency, but... still too far from his former best friend. You do see his problem, don’t you?

He opened his eyes again and noticed Sin and Boyd running away from the party, excusing themselves because they were tired or some shit. Emilio couldn’t read lips so well when his eyes could barely stay focused, but he chuckled some more because that was obviously a lie. Whatever, his son was free to do whatever he wanted with that blondie. Then, the idea of a threesome ran through his mind again and wouldn’t that have been great? Sure, Sin would have rather killed himself, Boyd would have… rejected him? But a man could dream, and what did he care about morals when everything else hurt anyway? Everything else meaning Zach not even taking a second of his time to look back at him or care how he was or... oh my god, what was he? A whiny bitch? Jesus Christ, he needed more booze.

After a couple of hours of drinking, dancing, and useless talking, basically just enjoying the fact that he didn’t have to be bored alone but with a crowd around him, people started to leave. The owner of the house was nowhere to be seen, but they had left said anyone could stay if they wanted because it was summer and no one even cared anymore. The sky above didn’t even look like it was late at night; a light orange mixed with soft grey to cover the dark blue of a real evening, and that made it all more surreal. Emilio remembered the real sky, the stars, it had been nice once. It had made him feel less alone, somehow.

While he was thinking about that, his brain jumping from one intoxicated thought to the other, he slowly rolled his head and looked at Zach, who was sitting alone in his chair. No blonde woman around him, no one. Emilio felt incredible relief at that, which was fucked up, but what did he care? He was fucked up anyway. He looked around some more, while rolling himself a joint and lighting it up casually, and noticed that there was basically no one left except for a couple sitting on a bench on the other side of the large garden and three or four kids still chatting happily around the grill, making themselves some more food. Around the table, and so near the house entrance, there was no one else and that made Emilio stand up and finally approach Zach.

The man noticed him, looking from down at his half-empty glass up to him, and rolled his eyes. Zach ran a hand through his blond short hair and sighed once Emilio stopped in front of him.

“And here I was, hoping to avoid you as much as possible.” Zach said.

Emilio arched an eyebrow, trying to be as steady as possible, letting the alcohol flow down now that he was standing up. He helped himself placing a hand on the table. Actually, after last time, Zach had all the reasons to avoid him but so did Emilio and they were too old for this shit.

“I didn’t know you were trying to avoid me.” He replied, as smug as always.

Zach stared at him and eventually the corners of his mouth tilted up, just enough for Emilio to see it. The motherfucker. Emilio had no idea what to do, or say for all that mattered even though he had always something to talk about, because all he felt like doing in his drunken and eager state was to touch the other man. It wasn’t unusual, but it was hard to control himself.

He bent over, closer to Zach’s face. “Baila conmigo, cariño.” He said, the words leaving his mouth in Spanish without realizing it. Zach, who understood, grimaced at the last word and shook his head.

“No way.”

“Come on, it’s not like I have someone else to ask.”

“You can dance alone.” Zach waved him away, but didn’t break the intrigued eye contact. His piercing blue eyes were shiny and blurry, Emilio could tell he had a bit too much to drink as well.

The black-haired man took another toke from his joint and rolled his eyes. “Is it because I’m a man? Because, I swear bro, I won’t tell anyone.”

He was obviously mocking him, but he always found it so ridiculous. Zach, and his obsession about his straight pride. Whatever the fuck that meant, as if they had never fucked all those times twenty years ago, please. He could pretend, sure, but that wouldn’t erase the facts. (Or the pleasure.)

“I didn’t say that...” It was what he was thinking, though. Pathetic. And hadn’t been him the one starting things just a couple of weeks ago?

Emilio smirked his most charming smile and kept his deep eyes on him, as if he was a treasured prey, making Zach swallow hard. He brushed his friend’s bare arm slowly and leaned in closer, whispering a hot low breath into his ear. “¿Por favor?”

He moved back and waited, not letting Zach look away. He sighed and finally gave in. “Fine.”

Emilio patted his back hard once and straightened up (a bit too quickly, whoops) grinning like a victorious idiot. “That’s mi hombre.” It was so easy to seduce Zach while they were both drunk, it was amazing.

Zach got up, not before finishing the remaining alcohol in his glass, and followed Emilio just a few steps away from the table. They were both illuminated by the soft light of the flickering light bulb hung above the door, the music still loud and clear and the only thing that kept Emilio on his feet.

“Just dancing though.” Zach warned him, pointing an accusatory finger at his chest. “No weird touching. Or kissing. Or anything like that,” He hiccuped. “because I know you.”

“Yeah, yeah, party killer. I just wanna dance.” False, but who cared? When had he ever just wanted to _dance_ with Zach?

Emilio started dancing following the latino beat, moving his feet and hips to the rhythm of the music being the good dancer he was, and placed one free arm on Zach’s shoulder. That wasn’t weird touching, was it? Merely dancing together. Zach sucked at dancing, let’s be clear, but he had drunk enough to let go and at least move around, or swing his head up and down. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore Emilio, and how close he was, for his own good. Emilio smiled and watched him, observing every bit of his aging face that still looked gorgeous. He bit his full lips staring at Zach’s and tried to take a picture of the way he looked that night for later purposes, he didn’t want to forget. Besides, it was so rare to be able to act so peaceful around him, for once. No fighting, no hard feelings, just music on a torrid night.

Almost unbelievable.

They danced slowly for another long minute or so. Emilio smiled and squeezed Zach’s arm after running his hand on it once, stepping slightly closer to him. Zach opened his eyes and frowned.

“What is it?” He asked, he sounded so calm. Emilio really was not used to it, he was used to serious Zach, to sassy Zach, to angry Zach, but never… relaxed Zach. Good.

“Open your mouth.” Emilio ordered him, his voice low and hoarse, taking a deep drag from his almost finished joint.

“What-” Before he could finish the sentence Emilio gripped Zach’s jaw and forced him to stay still, quickly leaning closer, enough so that their noses were touching. While Zach’s eyes widened, Emilio’s expression was lost and ready to reach out instead. Wanting. He let the biting smoke flow from out of his mouth into Zach’s opened one, slowly and carefully, until his lungs were empty. Zach coughed once, but kept it all in as a good boy, before exhaling as well. Emilio looked at him with heavy-lidded eyes and sneered, not withdrawing his hand, instead rubbing his thumb over Zach’s smooth neck and licking his lips as he did so. He felt high, drunk, inebriated, and why not share the pleasant feeling with the man dancing with him? That would have been rude.

He repeated the gesture once again and then flicked the joint away, putting both of his hands around Zach’s neck, dancing closer to him, surprised the man hadn’t pushed him away just yet. He was going to enjoy every single second of this, seriously.

“I really missed this.” Emilio said, more to himself than Zach. 

“This what?”

“Dancing.”

The weed mixed together with the alcohol must have had a weird effect on Zach because he started giggling like an idiot without a reason after his words and made Emilio chuckle too. He had no idea why they were laughing, but they eventually ended up with their foreheads pressed together, grins on their lips, and their chests touching. Emilio didn’t even remember the last time he had laughed with Zach, it was such a nice feeling it felt stronger than any kind of drink or drug. It felt like they were breathing fresh air, free from all of the shitty problems of the present.

Emilio couldn’t keep his hands still though and, taking his sweet time, slid one from Zach’s neck to his arm, and then up again to caress his muscular torso, his side, his back. He pressed them closer together and felt Zach suck in a shaky breath when their hips touched. Emilio’s stare was intense as much as the hot breath they were sharing, their faces so dangerously close.

“Ah, shit.” Zach said, shaking his head and taking a hesitant step back.

“What?” Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He didn’t want him to go. “No te vayas ahora, no.” He whispered as he shook his head, invading Zach’s personal space once again, wrapping his arms around his back and hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

“There’s… there’s other people here.” Zach said, but he didn’t sound convincing at all, and his hands didn’t know where to go because he (as much as Emilio) didn’t know why Emilio had suddenly held him like that. It was way too intimate, an unusual gesture, but Emilio rested his head there like a baby and breathed deeply while he enjoyed the unfamiliar sensation. Okay, maybe he was just _too_ drunk, but he didn’t care... not about that or anyone else. If he could have just one opportunity to be this close to the only person he could sincerely say to have ever loved, or whatever the fuck came the closest to that for his sociopathic standards, then so be it.

He shifted his head slightly back, but instead of straightening up, he started kissing Zach’s neck. The first kiss was almost non existent, just a brush of soft lips against warm skin, but the second was firmer, and the third made his hands move over Zach’s back with more confidence.

“Emilio, stop-” Zach gasped because Emilio’s kisses became hard, wet, and possessive.

“You always tell me to stop,” Emilio said in a half-broken voice, his lips still against Zach’s throat. “but you never mean it.”

“That’s not tr-” Emilio didn’t let him finish. Quickly, he moved from his neck to his lips and caught them in a hungry kiss. He had no patience to spare… not after all that time, it was asking too much of him and Emilio had never been a patient guy.

Zach made a startled noise, he moved away immediately, and Emilio felt his heart break in half. He let out a strange sound when the connection was severed. 

Anger. Frustration. He didn’t want to be rejected yet another time, he wanted… he wanted him. That was the simple truth. He thought he was going to hear the same fighting words all over again, but Zach surprised him. He took his hand and said. “Not here.”

Emilio’s eyes widened, he blinked, and he wished he could have asked someone if he had heard him right because that wasn’t anything like Zach.

Honestly? Bless that party, the hot sticky weather, the dizziness from the alcohol and everything else. It was his lucky day, better than his birthday or Christmas or the day he’d managed to run away from the Agency and felt finally free (for a while, at least).

Zach squeezed his hand and dragged him around the house, to the wall on the back where it was dark and the only light they had was the blurry orange moon. Emilio’s heart was racing, his hands were shaking in anticipation, and he could tell Zach wasn’t in any better condition. They were like bloody horny teenagers looking for a quiet place to jerk each other off without their parents catching them; ah, a la mierda! Emilio didn’t give a shit what they looked like.

He grinned and shoved Zach against the cold wall, a privilege in the heat, and went back to kissing his jaw, neck, chest and as far as his shirt let him. He ran a hand through his slightly sweaty hair and inhaled deeply, loving the sweet scent under his nose intoxicating him. Zach groaned, but let Emilio push and pull him wherever he wanted, and if Emilio hadn’t been drunk he would have stopped and asked Zach what the fuck was going on with him? But _he was_ drunk. And, also, couldn’t have stopped even if he wanted to. He wanted to get rid of Zach’s shirt, wanted to pop open every button and kept tasting every inch of Zach heated skin. He was trying to do that, but Zach stopped him. He gripped Emilio’s wrists, not without a good dose of strength, and held them still up.

They were both panting by then, Emilio letting his head fall against Zach’s as he frowned. He was sure he was about to lose it; the excitement too hard to control, the thrill of having the privilege to touch Zach again freely like that unbearable. He could barely look at the other man right now, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist those eyes, _those lips._ Stopping wasn’t an option… and why had Zach stopped?

“We shouldn’t…” He was regretting this, and his voice was trembling. Was he afraid? Was he upset? Was it that he wouldn’t have been able to control himself either and the feeling of wanting Emilio was messing with him? Emilio tried to free himself from his grip, but Zach kept his hands together, his eyes distant, even though he did pull him closer to him.

“After last time-” If Emilio was drunk and fucked up, well, then Zach was the king of being that. That wasn’t a good time to talk about what had happened the only other time they had been together after twenty long years, hell, Zach had basically raped him. But had Emilio complained, cried, bitched about it? No. _So shut up,_ he thought. Emilio was about to say something concrete, reply, tell him to forget about it and just kiss him, but Zach took hold of the situation and quickly turned their positions around.

He pushed Emilio against the wall and let go of his wrists, forcing his way in and running his hands on Emilio’s chest and in his hair, holding his face and touching him as if he had to make sure he was real. Angry. Miserable. Confused. Itching. Eager.  

“Why the fuck is it that you always have this effect on me? Why you?” Zach groaned and pressed his body against Emilio’s, speaking one inch from him. He had stopped him but now this… Emilio rolled his hips, not even caring about what he had to say, just wanting more and more especially in the state he was currently in. Well, obviously he wasn’t the only interested one or so Zach’s groin told him.

“I don’t want to talk.” He said, his lips brushing against Zach’s as he talked. It was so tempting, an invite he wasn’t about to refuse. This time it was Emilio who gripped the other man’s wrists, but not to stop him, to keep his hands exactly where they were instead. More, he needed that little more to light the match up and completely burn under his touch, with him.

“I don’t fucking know, but it’s not like you’re much better than me...” He said desperately because he needed Zach to understand, to do something, to-

Zach kissed him.

Emilio was expecting another harsh kiss, one similar to all of their previous ones. One without gentleness nor pity that would have ended up in biting and scratching, but Zach surprised him. He kept his hands around his neck, squeezing ever so slightly, and pressed their lips together in nothing more than a shivering kiss, it was almost shy.

The general’s blue eyes were fixed on his lips, heavy with lust and uncertainty, and Emilio froze. He was speechless, he could feel his heart was about blow up in his chest. Zach’s half kisses were tender, warm, they tasted like alcohol and care and Emilio couldn’t remember any other time like that. Especially not during the Brighton mission, no... if such a kind of kiss happened back then it was fake and they both knew it. But this one? It was real and overwhelming. What was going on with him?

He sucked in deep a breath when Zach gave him a fiercer, but still short kiss, and raised his impatient hand up to touch his soft lips involving his fingers in the hesitant kiss. He closed his eyes and found satisfaction in the way Zach was the one kissing him, the one who seemed to want him for once, the one who was dying to close the distance between them and get on with whatever they were about to do. Something was stopping him, though, and Emilio wasn’t sure he was lucid enough to think of a way to unblock him. He had to remind him how it was like to _actually kiss_ Emilio Vega, even though all he could think about was the way Zach’s mouth tasted, or the way his skin and lips burned under his craving hands that wanted him all for himself, or the way he smelled of sweat and summer and a long lost youth.

Emilio knew, remembered how he had always wanted Zach even before Brighton, and it was so hard not to spill his feeling out like a goddamn teenage girl to her prince charming... thank god he was too drunk to talk properly. Zach was still hesitating, pressing his forehead against his and inhaling deeply to find his balance again, but a bitterly lost sound escaped from somewhere deep inside when Emilio tilted his head and breathed, moved, demanded to taste. The kiss deepened and Emilio could feel Zach’s light stubble rasping against his lips as he took the other’s man head in his hands and pulled him closer. Emilio didn’t go easy on him, he didn’t want to and it wasn’t how they usually liked it anyway, and when he started kissing him rather violently, teeth biting at his sweet lips and tongue entering his mouth impatiently, Zach groaned. Once it started all hesitation was gone.

Kissing Zach was more than lips pressed together, it was getting lost in years of repressed frustration and pouring it all out of the other man. Emilio had never desired anyone else like him, and Zach, that bastard, knew it. The kiss was sensual, but desperate, it was human and raw and it was nothing like the other time. It was the kiss Emilio had been waiting for years and years, and as drunk as he was, he didn’t even care how cheesy and awful that sounded. He’d never get enough, now that he had tasted the addiction. It was like Zach was begging him to make him feel something, something more than all the daily shit they had to go through, and Emilio was more than happy to comply and fall into that dreamy fake world along with him.

Tongue sliding in deeper and hands working on Zach shirt’s buttons, they were both panting and moaning without any shame. Emilio wondered whether Zach was taking advantage of him for his own personal despair and need to let go or if he actually wanted him. He felt his heart hurt a little more twisting inside his chest, but in the heat of the moment he didn’t care about being broken and messed up, he didn’t care whether Zach was there for himself or to take care of him or to… he didn’t know. He didn’t care, didn’t want to think about it, didn’t have the strength to do that.

It was hot under Zach’s body, touch, hands, kisses, but Emilio felt a cold shiver running down his spine and another one reaching down his groin when Zach bit his lip hard and moaned into his mouth eagerly. He pushed him harder against the wall and Emilio raised a leg around Zach’s hips as high as he could, his other hand finally sliding under Zach’s shirt that was now open. He ran his calloused fingers against heated skin and shifted his head to kiss down his jaw and neck, leaving marks and licking the sweat away from his chest. Zach leaned over the wall and breathed heavily as groaned every time their hips ground firmly against each other, Emilio was going positively mad consumed by the feeling of another strong and familiar body like Zach’s against his.

He needed more, he wanted it to be like all those years ago without regrets and hesitation, but he also wanted to understand if that was going to be the last time. Or the first of many others. Zach raised his black tight shirt up and spread his hands over Emilio’s bare hips and torso, never getting enough. One moment they were shy like teenagers and the other they were overwhelmed by lust and drunken desire. Emilio wasn’t going to complain, Zach felt so intense and close, and even though what they were doing represented the complete opposite of it, it felt like having their mutual trust back. It felt like Emilio could just keep caring and loving in his own fucked up way. Ever since he came back all they ever did was fighting and blaming each other, but Emilio hadn’t forgotten their former friendship and Zach couldn’t deny how much Emilio had been, was, important to him.

Emilio’s hands slithered from Zach’s chest down into the back of Carhart's loose jeans, grabbing his ass and digging his nails into the pale skin. He didn’t stop there, skimming over the front to rub his strong hand on Zach’s crotch, but the other man groaned and stepped away from him. Emilio frowned and rolled his eyes, not again, why the fuck was he that confused?

“What the fuck?” Emilio asked, but after staring at each other for an infinite second Zach dropped to his knees and started working on Emilio’s trousers fast and frantically.

“Oh.” Emilio gasped when the hot air hit his bare groin and, especially, when he saw Zach biting his lips as he looked up at him. “Holy shit.” And since when was Zach someone who did _that_?

“Shut up.” Zach said quickly, although Emilio wasn’t sure that was what he actually wanted to say, and grabbed his hips to lean on them more than anything else. Emilio’s mouth fell open and his hand went to pull Zach’s blond sticky hair in a strong tug as soon as he felt a hot wet mouth on him. If he wasn’t fully aroused before (age and alcohol could do that) he was now, especially when he stared down to see Zach’s tongue, still well experienced from Brighton, running along his hard cock, but what did he care? It was better than paradise and Zach could have done anything to him and he would have cried of joy.

He arched his back against the wall and his grip tightened as he moaned loudly, not believing his own eyes, or better his own body. Zach’s hands were everywhere, running along his stomach and burying his nails on his hips, his ass, wherever, Emilio didn’t care. And he really didn’t care if Zach wasn’t being gentle at all and that hurt.

“Oh, fuck.” Emilio’s tongue was running free with curses as he felt Zach taking him in deeper and let him fuck his mouth thoroughly and with messy precision. Zach kept glancing up at him though, blue eyes burning into him and making his knees shake for the pleasure invading his heated body. It had been ages since the last time he had Zach’s mouth around him and the mere thought was enough to drive him insane... the fact that Zach looked and acted hungry for it was even worse.

It was more than a sexual gesture, it was knowing that Zach was deliberately taking his sweet time to make him feel pleasure and not just pain for once, and no matter how much Emilio loved to feel hurt and used, hell, that was better than he had ever imagined. It felt so good to be the one in control… or was he? He tugged at Zach’s hair harder and panted, a smile drawing across his lips as he hit his head against the wall closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. The air was definitely getting hotter, heavier, and the only thing keeping him up on his legs was the certainty of that delicious mouth sucking his needy cock.

Zach grasped Emilio’s ass with one hand, pushing him deeper inside his mouth, and ran the other one up on his sweaty back, fingers catching and sliding on the expanse of skin. “Puta madre, Zach- I’m so fucking close-”

He shouldn’t have said that, though, because Zach immediately moved back and he was left bare and cold without those hot lips wrapped around him that he loved oh so much. With his eyes still closed he groaned and clenched his fists grabbing Zach’s head. He was about to complain for the third time, that game was getting old already, but he changed his mind as soon as he looked down and noticed Zach’s expression.

Lips full red and swollen with a trace of saliva mixed with precome still dripping, starving glassy blue eyes, flushed skin. Holy fuck. Emilio couldn’t be mad at him, not right now, not ever.

Emilio took his time, even though his body was nothing but patient at the moment, to stare at Zach’s helpless face and he placed a hand right under his chin to tilt his head up slowly. He brushed his thumb over his wet lips and felt his chest rise up and down in anticipation. He wanted to feel those lips again, wanted to kiss them and taste them and adore them for the rest of his miserable days. Instead he kept the eye contact steady but drunk and frowned, didn’t care if his pants and trousers were all down and their position was slightly embarrassing. Not for him, anyway.

“What’s up with you, mi corazón?” Zach rolled his eyes and grunted, only secretly liking the nickname, and bit into Emilio’s thumb softly before standing up. He didn’t reply, he kissed him and parted Emilio’s lips to slide his wet tongue in, moving it around slowly but roughly and with strong confidence, as if he wanted to remember every single sensation. Emilio moaned into the kiss and internally swore, running his hands hard beneath Zach’s open shirt.

Zach broke the kiss eventually. He licked his way to Emilio’s ear and whispered something that made Emilio’s stomach twist and his cock stir.

“Fuck me.” Two words Zach had never said, and never would have said. The dark-haired man’s eyes widened and he stared at Zach like he was trying to understand whether he was being serious or just fucking with him. Because that would have been really low, even for him, considering Emilio knew how Zach was aware of how much he wanted this.

“You sure?” He moaned the moment Zach’s took his fingers into his mouth and sucked on them while he worked on his own belt to get his pants down. He released Emilio’s hand and pressed closer to him, forehead against forehead, hot breaths mixed. Zach closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before finally explaining to Emilio what the hell was going on.

“I’m tired… I’m so fucking tired, Emilio. And drunk. And I really don’t give a shit I just want to be fucked and used and I want _you_ to do it, to make me forget. To make me feel something, _anything,_ more.”

Emilio drank in every single word as if it was sacred water, but it still didn’t make any sense. “Why you and not me? What about your goddamn obsession with control? Cause if I do this I don’t want you hating on me when you wake up tomorrow hang over and with a big pain in your ass.” He was being even too sensitive for being as drunk as he was, but maybe that was the point. Being drunk with Zach turned him into a sensitive loving bastard, ugh.

“I don’t want to be in control.” Zach kissed him once. “I just want to let go.” He gave him another sloppy kiss that Emilio couldn’t refuse, that made him forget what they were even talking about in the first place.

“Please.” Zach finally begged, and that was it. Emilio gave in.

He grabbed Zach’s hips and flipped him over so that he was the one facing the wall and his back was to Emilio. In a moment of frustration he finally got rid of Zach’s shirt, telling him to help him get if off him, and then there he was pressing against Zach’s bare back and kissing, licking, sucking his neck and shoulder leaving marks and small bites. If Zach wanted to _feel_ something Emilio wasn’t going to deny him that. He touched all over Zach’s chest, pulling his hair and pushing him over. He eventually took the general’s dick in his hand and gave it a few strokes while enjoying the eager sounds coming out of his mouth.

When Emilio ran his hand to Zach’s entrance, though, it felt that something was off. Zach could have said whatever he wanted to him, but that didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t used to this at all. He had never especially liked it, or maybe he did, but Emilio felt him hesitate and jolt when he didn’t exactly wait to push two fingers inside and gave him what he asked for. Actually, Emilio was being kind, any other time he wouldn’t have taken his time to prepare him but he knew Zach wasn’t like him, that is a sick fuck who mixed pain with pleasure like a sweet dreamy cocktail. And even though, yes, Emilio was an asshole, he didn’t want to be a complete one at the moment.

That didn’t mean he would have taken it easily, though. Oh, no, Zach was going to take it all and Emilio would have been lying if he said it didn’t feel good to take a little revenge on him for their last time. It was messed up, it was like he was trying to be considerate but at the same time he wanted to wreck the man under him, make him feel all the anger, the rejection, the hurt feelings that had been stirring inside of him for more than twenty years now. Maybe Zach would have understood, finally, what he really meant for Emilio.

“Come on.” Zach encouraged him.

Emilio chuckled and switched his fingers with his cock still wet with saliva and precome, thrusting inside, stretching him open, and making Zach give out a sharp muffled shout. They both groaned and Zach pressed his hands against the wall to search for somewhere to lean on. Anyone could have walked in on them and they wouldn’t have cared.

Emilio tried to go slowly at the beginning, he wanted to feel the pulsing heat and give Zach the time and space to adjust to the sensation, but when he hit the right spot and heard the blond man giving out a loud moan of pleasure he forgot all about that and started fucking him the way _he_ liked it. He couldn’t see Zach’s face, even though he was dying to see it, but what he could do was seize his jaw and turn his head to give him another messy wet kiss.

He let go of his chin to slide and press his long fingers lightly around Zach’s throat, enough to make him react, though. Emilio was usually the loud begging one, but this time he stood silently panting in his ear and relished in every sound, every incomprehensible curse and word Zach was saying, and it made him push quicker and harder into him.

Having his body grinding against Zach’s, feeling every muscle and his hot skin under him, savouring the pressure around his cock overwhelming him, and knowing that he could have the other man without fearing rejection, for once, was everything Emilio ever wanted. Too bad they were so drunk they could barely stand, or fully understand what they were doing.

Different from any other time, so intense Emilio was on the verge of silent unnoticed tears. He eventually closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Zach’s back as he kept fucking him hard and relentlessly and breathing hard. He remembered, then, that there was something else he needed to take care of and slid his hand down Zach’s torso to pump his dick, which was calling desperately for attention.

“Yes.” He hissed, rolling his head back for the pleasure against Emilio.

“Fuck, this is too much.”

“Yeah. Don’t stop.” Too bad Zach didn’t know what Emilio was referring to. He wanted to tell him how good it felt, he wanted to stop, pulling out and tell him to wreck _him_ instead as he always did because the other way around was about to give him a heart attack. He wanted Zach to feel whatever he was feeling and faster thrusts weren’t enough, he wanted to feel like they weren’t just going to forget about this, like it could last… He wanted Zach and he wanted to tell him and he wanted him to understand and say that it was a mutual thing, he wanted him to fucking stop fighting him every time, and most of all he wanted his best friend back like before. Before those lost twenty years, before Brighton, before everything went to shit. Zach wasn't the only one sick and tired of the Agency, but he and Sin were the reason Emilio had come back to that shithole and he hoped Zach knew. He hoped every moan, every kiss, every word begging for more meant something that wasn’t just sex.

Emilio wanted Zach to understand that somewhere deep down he actually truly loved him and there was nothing he could do to stop the feeling, and trust him, he tried. But then he saw Zachary again, they argued and fought, and how could he hide it? He wanted Zach to be his and only his, and he wanted to be the same even though Zach would have had a different opinion on the _how_.

Emilio thought he was merely thinking all of those things… little did he know that he was actually speaking out loud. And every word, every deeper thrust, meant Zach shaking under him and guttering out his name hopelessly. He was as lost just as him.

“Dime que eres mío-” Emilio grunted in Spanish, once again without realizing the language difference, and tilted his head to kiss Zach and not let him reply. Emilio felt Zach clenching around him, pumping his own dick while he put his hands on his hips to snap their bodies harder together as sweat slid down Zach’s bare skin.

“I’m yours. Fuck, fuck Emilio I’m yours. Just don’t stop.” Zach moaned against his mouth and the only thing Emilio could think back was _I’m yours too_ , but he couldn’t say it out loud. He didn’t have the strength, too far gone in the act. It took him two more thrusts to come in a loud deep groan and he rode his blissful orgasm out while he kept fucking Zach, who was surprisingly good at taking it even after all that time.

As soon as he finished he stepped out and flipped Zach over, facing him and taking his swollen dick in his hand. They kissed passionately and properly this time, with hunger that almost turned to violence, and Emilio could still taste himself on Zach’s tongue as he made him climax. The other man came way more silently, but he still trembled throughout the orgasm in Emilio’s arms, gripping tight on his shoulders to avoid falling down and apart right in front of him.

Emilio let Zach regain his breath while he raised his trousers up and fastened his belt. Zach did the same a few seconds after having calmed down, and, without looking at Emilio in the eyes, he slid away from against the wall to grab his shirt and put it back on. Zach hissed and almost stumbled forward when he tried to walk away shamefully, but Emilio stopped him from falling and supported him with one quick strong arm. His reflexes were good even when he was drunk, something he had learned to do during all those years. At that Zach turned his head and finally looked at him. Emilio couldn’t read his blue eyes, but neither of them said a word and Zach pushed him away before leaving him there in the dark and alone. Without a word. Emilio sighed and sat down on the ground against the wall, resting his head there and rubbing his eyes thinking about what had just happened…

He wasn’t sure how or when, but he fell asleep right on the grass like a homeless person without a home to go to.

\---

“Ah, Sin, final-” Zach said turning around from his seat and obviously expecting someone else. Emilio raised his eyebrows and closed the conference room’s door behind him as the other man closed his mouth right away and gave him a weird upset look.

“What? Not happy to see me?” Emilio grinned, even though the gesture alone made his hangover headache worse. He barely had the time to go back home when he woke up in an unknown garden to shower and get to the agency. He looked like shit, whereas Zach was just as perfect as always. It was terribly annoying.

“You’re not the Vega required for this mission.” Zach coughed, he wasn’t looking at Emilio directly. “I don’t even understand why you are here, you could have stayed home and slept in late.”

“Since when do you want me slack off like that?”

Zach chuckled humorlessly, looking down at his tablet and pretending to have stuff to do. “It’s not like you would actually do as I told you, anyway.”

“Not when it comes to work, for sure.” Emilio said, knowing exactly what he meant, and laughed lightly when Zach coughed louder and eventually sighed.

“You’re not here for the mission. What do you want?” He asked impatiently.

Emilio took several steps forward and leaned over the table, stopping right next to Zach’s chair. He sat on the table like a child would and swung his legs back and forth while taking a cigarette out from his little pack, lightening it up.

“I was looking for my son.” He lied.

“You can’t smoke in here.” Zach told him before replying to his fake answer. Emilio shrugged and took a drag, loving the slightly burning feeling in his throat and lungs. A good smoke was what he needed right now.

“Why are you looking for Sin?” Zach continued, fidgeting with his hands placed on the table and putting the tablet away. Still not looking up.

“No reason, really. Just wanted to know if he had fun last night.”

“Like he would want to talk about it with you _,_ smartass.” Zach scoffed and shook his head, but Emilio was already getting tired of the little pretending-nothing-happened game and leaned closer to him so that it would have been too obvious to look away. Zach was avoiding him, and they both knew it.

“Would _you_ , General?” He asked, teased, tried to drag any kind of reaction out of his former partner.

Zach finally looked at him in the eyes, and he was angry. Upset. Shaken. He pressed his lips together and forcedly took Emilio’s cigarette away from his lips and extinguished it on Emilio’s thigh.

“Ouch!” Emilio hissed and slapped Zach’s hand away immediately. Now there was a hole in his camo trousers and a goddamn burn on his skin. “What the fuck is wrong with you? That hurt!” It did, even though Emilio had gone through so much more he barely noticed the pain.

“I’m sure you deserve it.”

“For what?!”

“Something. Anything. You always fuck up somehow anyway.”

“You’re the one to talk.”

“And what have _I_ done?”

“Sweetheart, come on, are you even serious right now?”

Zach sighed and rolled his eyes. “Just go away.”

“No.” Emilio replied, dry and serious this time.

“Why not? Sin’s not here anyway.” Zach looked away another time but Emilio scoffed and took his chin in his hand, making him turn so that they were face to face. He moved his hand away and luckily Zach’s blue eyes stayed right on his.

“I’m not here for Sin, and you know it.”

“Then you shouldn’t lie.” Zach hesitated when Emilio leaned closer.

“Who cares about that, man? I just-”

“You just what?”

Emilio studied Zach’s face and he noticed that it wasn’t as perfect as he thought. There were dark circles under his eyes, stress wrinkles on his forehead and at the corner of his eyes, gray hair mixed with the natural shiny blond of his. He frowned and slowly started to play with Zach’s hand on the table. He reached for a finger, looking down at it, then a second one. He wanted to hold it properly but he knew that was stupid as fuck and he would have ruined his reputation forever.

“Are you okay?” He whispered. What the hell was wrong with him? He _whispered_ now? Wow.

“Are _you_ okay?” Zach replied back, just as confused, but at least he didn’t complain because of the hand touching. Instead he started playing with Emilio’s tattooed fingers too as if they were inexpert teens about to confess their love. What the hell was wrong with them, was the right question.

“Well, I don’t know!” Emilio sighed, finally taking his hand back and leaping down the table. He looked down at Zach and ran a hand in his hair exasperatedly. “How should I know after last night? That’s why I asked if you were, that wasn’t like you. And I don’t want you telling me that you’re going to be terminated out of the blue like last time, because I swear to god I’m going to haunt you in the afterlife if you pull some shit like that on me. You can’t waltz in and be all nice and needy and then just- just disappear.” Emilio spit all of his worries out, aware that he was saying too much… maybe a bit of alcohol was still running in his veins, he didn’t know.

“Well?” Zach didn’t say a word. “Whatever, man.”

Emilio turned to leave, even though he really didn’t want to because being away from Zach was always both a blessing and complete hell, but the general stopped him. He gripped his wrist and got up from that stupid chair to make Emilio stay and look at him.

“Wait.” Zach bit his lip and tugged Emilio a bit closer. “Last night…”

“Yeah?”

“God, Emilio, why do I even have to explain?” Zach rolled his eyes but Emilio didn’t flinch.

“I’m waiting.”

“I was tired.”

“Yeah, you said that.”

Zach hesitated. “Did I?”

“What? You don’t remember?”

“...Kind of. I’m not sure.”

“Not sure?” Emilio wasn’t happy about it, another reason to have his heart broken a little more, not that he cared. He could get over it, it just wasn’t nice to hear, or so he told himself.

“Something about wanting to lose control and have me to fuck you because you were tired and wanted to feel something. Does that ring any bell?”

Zach swallowed hard and looked at Emilio as if he wasn’t real, as if his words were all made up. But Emilio could tell he _did_ remember, he was just pretending to be naive and not have a clue. Well, tough luck, because Emilio wasn’t going to forget.

“So? What game are you playing here?” Emilio freed from his grip and stepped forward, for once not to kiss him, or try to. “You always enjoyed fucking with me, but this is a whole new level which I can’t say I like very much. Well, except for the part where I get to fuck you, but to be honest, that feels weird too by now.”

“I wasn’t fucking with you.”

“Yeah, that’s so easy to believe.”

“I’m serious. I just had a long day.” Emilio blinked, frowned, and tilted his head. “And you were there and I…”

“Were drunk.”

“Exactly.”

“And you took it out on me.”

“Since when does that bother you?”

“It doesn’t. It’s just a piece of shit thing to do coming from you.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Emilio chuckled lightly, shaking his head. He was tired too, but he was also a drama queen so he had to cause a bit of a scene. “So you’re okay?” He asked gently.

“I don’t even know if I’m allowed to.”

“What the fuck are you talking about now?”

Zach placed a hand on Emilio’s shoulder and gripped tightly for a single moment, he looked miserable more than tired. “Nothing. It’s just my messed up brain being an idiot.”

“The usual, then. Nothing to worry about.” Emilio joked and Zach gave a little slap on his arm as he shook his head. At least Emilio could always steal a smile from him.

“That’s not funny.”

“It is, though.”

“Because you think you’re always the clever one, huh?” Zach teased, and Emilio grinned.

“Smarter than all of you assholes in this place for sure.”

“Oh, shut up. You just have the ego of a primadonna.”

“Maybe, but you like it.” He teased back, stroking his hand on Zach’s arm, making him suck in a surprised breath. He invaved his personal space a little more and tilted his head so that they were almost kissing, noses brushing, but Zach stopped Emilio’s hand when it reached the back of his head.

“Emilio what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” His voice low and hopeful.

“Do you really want to give Sin another reason to be traumatized if he walks in right now?”

Emilio couldn’t help but laugh at that, pushing his forehead on Zach’s for a moment. “I think he’s seen and lived enough not to be shocked by his dads kissing a little.”

“His dad _s_?” Zach frowned.

“Yeah, well, you basically adopted him and always go on about how you love him like a son and all so…”

“That’s weird.”

“Also not what I wanted to talk about.” Emilio sneered wittily.

“We have nothing to talk about.” Zach breathed into his mouth.

“Exactly.”

Emilio interrupted him before he could object and pressed his dry lips against his soft ones. He wanted to deepen the kiss, to enjoy Zach with a sober mind but instead he couldn’t help but smile against his mouth and ruin the moment. Zach placed his hands on his chest and pushed him away slightly, looking at him and frowning.

“What? What is it?”

“Can’t a man just smile?” Emilio asked running a hand through Zach’s short hair, not wanting to break the contact completely.

“Mh. Not you, not without a reason. That’s your ‘I’m an asshole and I love it’ smile.” Actually, Emilio was just glad he was able to kiss Zach like that without any more drama. For once, you know, it was a good break from the usual routine.

“Ah, you got me there. But I’m _your_ asshole.” He winked and Zach snorted, rolling his eyes for the hundredth time.

“God, I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No, I don’t. You have no idea how inconvenient that is.”

“You’re always so kind, corazón.”

“And don’t call me that!”

“Tesoro, sí?”

“No!”

“Cariño.”

“Stop.”

“Darling’s nicer, you’re right.”

“In your head.”

“Querido.”

“Oh my god.”

“Mi amor?” Emilio grinned and pulled Zach back into his arms while he was trying to walk away from him. He wanted to say he was hating this, but teasing Zach and seeing him blush was one of the few joys he could have in his life. He licked his lips, but just before he could kiss him again Zach talked.

“I’m not-”

Emilio stopped midway, looking at him from so near he could barely make out his expression. “You’re not… what?”

“Yours. Tuyo.” Ah, because he called him _mi_ amor, and of course Zach would think of last night. But Emilio’s lips turned into a satisfied smile anyway.

“And here I was, thinking you didn’t remember what you said last night.”

“Damn it.”

“Shhh, we both know you’re shit at lying anyway, I forgive you.”

Zach rolled his eyes and kissed him warmly for the last time, which lasted less than Emilio wished, and eventually pushed him away in a low chuckle. “Just go away before I change my mind about hating you.”

“Sure thing honey, I’ll see you later.” Emilio stood there staring at him, god, he didn’t want to leave him now…

“Go!”

“Jeez, fine.” He laughed and caressed Zach’s cheek jokingly once before finally stepping out of the room with a big grin on his face.   


 

He had to get Zach drunk and high more often, definitely.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! And, to be honest, bless you just for the fact that you actually know and have read these books :')


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